


Confession

by blackbird



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-14
Updated: 2004-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-16 03:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbird/pseuds/blackbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On his trip to England, Wes runs into a familiar face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confession

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers up to Angel 5.7, "Lineage" only.

In his long line of foolish ideas and ill-prepared plans, this one might have been the worst. He should have known this wasn't going to work out. Nothing ever does, he supposed.

Shaking his head, he felt the cold rainwater run down his neck, soaking his collar. The buzzer echoed once more in the empty house, and he sighed. He should have called first; it would have saved not just the trip, but his jacket as well. He was at the curb, hailing a cab when heard her voice from the shadows.

"Watcher senior and the missus are at some stuffy Watcher retreat in Bath. Giles is trying to rally the troops, or something."

"Faith," he said. "I had no idea you were in England." She stepped out of the alley, her well-heeled boots silent against the pavement. A cab stopped, but he waved it away impatiently.

She grinned at him. "Well, you know, it was either here or some god-forsaken Hellmouth like Cleveland. Figured it might be time to see the world, see if the vamps here were any smarter. Turns out they aren't, just harder to understand, since now they have an accent on top of the teeth," she joked. "So, your turn. Had an overwhelming desire to see the folks, or is this business?" They were both standing under her wide black umbrella now and he could see something in her eyes, something different.

"Uh, no, not business. I spoke to Mother the other day and just thought I might surprise them, you know," he said, clearing his throat. He wasn't quite sure how to explain that he'd come halfway around the world to make sure his father wasn't an android, although she might well understand completely. "Wait, how did you know I was here?"

"I've, well, I've been talking to Angel, you know? He said you might be paying a visit here, didn't say why though," she answered, shifting her weight back and forth. "Had a lot of time to think lately, and you and I, well we have some issues," she finished lamely. He suppressed a chuckle. The word some didn't begin to cover what was between them.

"I suppose we do. The last time we saw each other wasn't under the best of circumstances. Still, it's fortunate I ran into you. I have something for you. I was just going to give it to Giles to pass along, but you might as well come and get it," he said carefully. This was shaky ground and after everything that had been going on recently, dragging up his past with Faith was not exactly what he wanted to do at the moment. But she was here now, and this was as good a time as any. "Why don't you come back to the hotel and I'll change. There a bar downstairs and I could use a drink," he said as he flagged down another cab.

"Sure, yeah," she answered as she climbed in. He followed, letting the door slam on the rainy, London night.

****

Faith was sprawled on the couch in the living room of the suite when he came out of the bedroom. His bag and laptop had been unceremoniously shoved aside to make room for her feet on the antique coffee table.

"TV here sucks. I don't understand it," she griped. He shook his head and pulled a manila envelope out of his bag. Tossing the remote in disgust, she watched him as he crossed the room to sit next to her.

"Here," he said.

She looked at it skeptically. "This isn't going to explode or something is it?"

"Faith," he said exasperatedly, "just open the damn thing."

She dumped the papers out on the table. There was a passport, birth certificate, a California driver's license, and more importantly, a set of parole papers, signed and notarized. For once, she didn't have anything to say. He shifted uncomfortably as she read everything over and over again.

"Damn, Wes. Working for the evil lawyers does have its advantages," she said. "These look almost real."

"They are real. All of them, entirely legitimate and done without the help of Wolfram and Hart. I do still some contacts outside of them, you know," he said wryly. "I still haven't quite figured out how you got past security in the first place."

"Willow. She sort of made me invisible," she mumbled under her breath. "Once we got on the plane it was five by five. When we landed, she did the mojo again and I sailed right past Customs."

"That was very risky, Faith. If someone had caught you..." he trailed off. Her face hardened at his tone.

"Hey, I don't need a lecture Watcher-boy. What's done is done, all right?" she snapped. Throwing back the curtain violently, she stared out at the city. He wanted to go to her, but he held back. The inability to predict her reaction to things was most frustrating and he rubbed the bridge of his nose to try and relieve the headache that was forming behind his eyes.

"I met your dad the other day,” she said, not turning from the glass. "He's a real piece of work, but I'm sure I don't need to tell you that. Looked at me like I was some piece of trash, not good enough to be any kind of Slayer, not to mention the Slayer. Told Giles he could see now how you would've a hard time controlling me, that I clearly needed discipline. That maybe I needed to be used as an example, because we need to recognize mistakes."

"Faith," he began.

"It got me to thinking, you know? There's a lot of shit between us, Wes. Things that were done and said that can't ever be taken back. When I was in prison, I used to think about the things I wanted to say to you if I ever got out. I wanted to try and explain things, Angel even told me to try writing it down, that it might be easier that way. But it never seemed to come out right and when you showed up that day, things were out of control, and I just pushed it all aside to focus on getting Angel back. By the time I knew what I wanted to say, Red and I were halfway to Sunnydale.

"I wanted to hurt you, to make you feel as worthless and used as I did. I wanted to break you into pieces. Because I didn't think you ever knew what that felt like, to think you were nothing. I was messed up, I know that now. Buffy will never let go of what I did to her, and I can accept that. I know you probably can't ever forgive me for what I did to you either, but I thought you should at least know that I'm sorry, Wes," she said, her voice almost unrecognizable and thick with emotion. Quietly, he walked toward the window. He stopped just short of her and he caught her eye in the reflection.

"I shot my father last week," he stated flatly. Shock flashed over her face, but she didn't turn around. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Or who I thought was my father. It turns out someone had used him as a blueprint to gain access to the vaults at Wolfram and Hart. Whatever I killed was an android that looked, spoke, and acted exactly like him. They were trying to kill Angel and had taken Fred hostage. And so, I shot him. Nine times. I emptied the entire clip into him.

"I haven't been back here since I went to Sunnydale six years ago. Here meant failure and disappointment. My failure as your Watcher wasn't entirely your fault. If I had tried to be less like him, things might have been vastly different. We both know that if I had really wanted revenge, I could have let Weatherby take you from Angel that night. But I couldn't," he said, his hand resting lightly on her shoulder.

"This salvation you desire, it's not going to come from me. It has to come from you, Faith."

"But," she whispered, "what if I can't?" He spun her around, and cupped her face in his hands.

"You can, because you must. You have to breathe on and let this go. I've forgiven you for what happened, now you have to forgive yourself," he said softly.

"What about you, can you do it?" she asked.

"Oh God, yes. It was quite therapeutic actually," he answered with a laugh. "I realized on the flight over here that just because he was my father, I didn't have to like him. I only went there to take my mother out to dinner and try and convince her to finally leave him after all these years." Faith stepped back and punched him lightly in the arm.

"You asshole, here I am doing all this revealing, soul-searching shit and you're cracking jokes."

"Yes, it was getting rather intense there, wasn't it? But you needed to do it, and I was glad to oblige you. You really are a rather extraordinary woman, Faith. Now maybe you'll get the chance to realize that," he said, grabbing his keys and wallet. "I think we both deserve a drink. Shall we?"

"Lead the way. Hell, first round's on me," she said, gathering the papers on the table and stuffing them into her jacket. He closed the door behind them and followed her to the elevator.

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2004 for the 7th turn of the Buffyverse Lyric Wheel, with lyrics from "It's A Fire" by Portishead.


End file.
